Bring your kid to work day

Yesterday, April 25th, was 'bring your kid to work day' and, thankfully, my employer happens to be forward thinking enough to support it.  

Lily spent the whole day at the office.    There were organized activities for two hours in the morning, and for another 2 hours in the afternoon.   The rest of the day was with me, and made for the best day at work that I can remember.    It was also very clear that she loved it - even asking if she could come with me today.

The best memory and memento came when she was practicing her writing at my desk.   She wrote 'I LOVE TAM' on a piece of paper, using the name she was hearing everyone call me.   I helped her correct the spelling, gave a reminder that it would be disrespectful for her to call me that, and immediately pinned the note to my wall.  

Speaking of the dead

I don't have the first clue how to explain death to a 4 year old.   What little knowledge I have on the topic has come from experience, and that doesn't fit nicely into a bedtime story.

In a conversation about why people stay at hospitals, I told the story of my tonsillectomy.   It was at age five, and it seemed like something she could relate to.    Then she blindsided me with questions about my parents.  She asked if 'grandma and grandpa' (the set she knows) were my parents.    I told her, no, and that she's never met them - sidestepping the reason why. 

She said 'show me a picture of them.....show me picture of them on your phone'.    My brain froze up processing the fact that my parents were effectively gone before smartphones and Facebook.   I did have a picture - posted about 2 years ago on this blog, where I feared about this very situation.

She likely has some understanding of death.    My sidestepping either confused her more about the topic, or created some other misunderstanding, which may well be worse. 

I will explain this to the best of my abilities, once I figure out the words.

A wake at the lake

So, we went to the lake for a wake.   Cindy's parent's cabin is located on the side of Lake Huron (on the east side of the thumb), and we were there to celebrate a life that passed - grandpa.

It was a full day.   We saw barns, cows, horses, and many other things on the drive.   We skipped rocks across the lake, talked with relatives and generally took it easy after arriving. 

As we were leaving, we asked Lily what her favorite part of the day was.    She said it was playing catch with her dad, and hearing that was the best part of my day.    It was just the thing to do at the time, but it was better than the great blue lake to her, and that's all that matters to me.

Save the Date: March 18, 2015

After careful consideration, I've determined that March 18, 2015 is the date I can likely show our kid's the Star Wars movies.   That's the day Nate turns 5.    I might move that out farther, based on maturity level, but definitely won't move it up any sooner.     

This will give me time to determine how to show the films.....because this is a serious question.   Do you do it chronologically from release -- showing the superior films first?    Or, do you show it chronologically from the movie's timeline, in which case you are forced to show the "Phantom Menace" first (which is the most patently inept, infinite budget film, ever made)? 

The films have violence.   They have (laser) guns.  Not very accurate guns, but they are guns nonetheless.   People lose hands.   Robots lose limbs.   So, I'll probably preview the films myself, before showing them.   Maybe even edit some of the content out on the fly (fast forward), when the time comes.  

It will definitely take multiple viewings.   One film a week maybe, spread across 2 or 3 nights, just so they can fully appreciate it.

I can't wait.    The first movie had a big effect on me, when I saw it in 1977, at the age of 5, and I'm sure it will have a similar effect on my kid's now. 

"Dumb Shitheads"

Our little terrible 2 year old has entered a new and particularly dreadful rebellious phase.  I picked him up from daycare the other night and his teacher asked me "who calls him a shithead?".  Apparently he had called not only her, but another teacher a "shithead".  We have been disciplining him for using bad words at home, but the worst he has said up until then was "stupid".  Now that he has used an actual swear word in public, I'm more concerned about the problem.  His teachers probably think we sit around the house cussing at each other.  I want so badly to explain, "it's only in traffic where a few choice words might slip out".  Somehow I doubt they would buy it. 

Truth be told, I do feel responsible for his potty mouth.  Everyone told me that when I had kids, an instinctual motherly urge to protect my little ones from the ugliness of curse words would kick in.  After years of relying on strings of obscenities to release my frustrations, I would suddenly switch to child friendly expressions like "gosh darn it" or "fudge"..  Needless to say, that instinct never kicked in with me.  Lily heard enough cursing to make a sailor blush, yet she never repeated a word.  So I expected Nate to be the same way.  Take it all in, and keep it in the vault.  To my dismay, my secret arsenal of four-letter verbal daggers is being exposed by a mischievous,  shock-seeking two year old.

I don't know how to react or fix the problem.  Up until now, we have used redirection or timeouts (aka the "thinking chair") to discourage the behavior.  It hasn't worked, obviously.  He has now advanced to using the term "dumb shitheads", the adjective creatively added sometime between the first and the hundredth usage.  Since the problem has escalated, if it were up to me I would escalate his punishment to soap or vinegar on the tongue.  I'm confident that would stop the "shitheads" and keep him from moving on to even worse profanities.  But Tom is vehemently against it.  He thinks it would teach violence. 

Speaking of Tom, he admits to using the word shit in front of the kids, but claims he never uses it in the form of "shithead".  Imagine my shock when he called Mitt Romney a shithead the other night, with both kids present!  I guess the problem is not only me, but two parents who lack verbal self-control.  As long as Lily stays her sweet, soft-spoken self, our family will have some dignity.

Camper of the Week

Lily was recognized as "Camper of the Week" this week!  There is a large banner with her name on it hanging in the gym.  She said her favorite thing to do in summer is play, if she were given a million dollars, she would buy a toy, and her favorite summer food is carrots.  How cute!  I'm so proud of her.  I think because I was a very quiet child, I want to do everything possible to raise her to overcome the shyness I have genetically blessed her with.  This morning, the camp counselor made my day when she told me how much Lily is talking to her now.  She continues to amaze me every day.  I can't wait to see what she becomes. 

De-Friended by my own son

Nate's new thing, when punished or denied a desire, is to tell you that he's 'not your friend'.    It's hard to go a day, or even an afternoon, without being defriended once or twice.  

It has happened enough that my response is canned.   "Oh, that's too bad.   I'll always be your friend, Natey".     Moments later all is forgotten.