 |
This reminds me of Michigan J Frog, the Looney Toons character that would sing in private, for the person that found him. Then choke up the moment anyone else was around.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Michigan J Frog, my daughter
This reminds me of Michigan J Frog, the Looney Toons character that would sing in private, for the person that found him. Then choke up the moment anyone else was around.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Parenting: A Range of Emotions
Shock to Solace - You look over to see the two year old about to use the 3 month old as a stepping stool. Foot on head. After screaming the toddler off the infant, you notice the peaceful look of the little one, oblivious to the abuse, just happy for the attention.
Silent Frustration - Bed time routine followed: teeth brushed, books read, lights out and eyes closed. Now you are looking to exit the room silently, when they speak in a voice that's far too awake, "I have to pee".
Pride - Because your kid uses the toilet, even if the process is far more contrived and lengthy than just letting them go in their diaper.
Concealed Horror - When they put a small metal object (like a hair clip) in their mouth and start running around, just to make things interesting. You are then forced to chase a 2 year old through the house, in order to fish something out of their mouth without doing anything that would make the event worth repeating, in the child's eyes.
Neutral Reaction To What Were Once Extreme Events - It's remarkable how fast you get used to being thrown up on regularly throughout the day.
Silent Frustration - Bed time routine followed: teeth brushed, books read, lights out and eyes closed. Now you are looking to exit the room silently, when they speak in a voice that's far too awake, "I have to pee".
Pride - Because your kid uses the toilet, even if the process is far more contrived and lengthy than just letting them go in their diaper.
Concealed Horror - When they put a small metal object (like a hair clip) in their mouth and start running around, just to make things interesting. You are then forced to chase a 2 year old through the house, in order to fish something out of their mouth without doing anything that would make the event worth repeating, in the child's eyes.
Neutral Reaction To What Were Once Extreme Events - It's remarkable how fast you get used to being thrown up on regularly throughout the day.
Decisions Part I: the Reptile and the Calculator
Modern science has just begun to scratch the surface on the most complex organ in our body, the human brain. I don't pretend to understand any of the science, but I have read enough to have a broken understanding....enough to be dangerous, you might say.
These are some of my thoughts based on that, admittedly, weak understanding of but a scratch upon the surface.
The first is the Reptilian Complex (R-Complex) which is the basis for fight or flight style reactions. This is the part of our brain design that we share with the reptiles and is the what kicks in when we are in a rage or just need to make decisions faster than contemplative thought would allow. It's also the part of the brain that makes us creatures of habit - it's what gets us home on those trips over familiar territory where you don't even remember doing the driving. We use this part of the mind when playing a sport, which is the reason 'overthinking' a play is dangerous to an athlete, and people actually make a living as a sports psychologist.
The second factor is what I'll call the Calculator, the logical part of the mind (technically the neo-mammalian complex), which is something unique to humans. This is what makes us '(WO)MAN' - rational beings that have language, philosophy and the ability to plan ahead. This is why humans have farms and catch fish, rather then eat only seeds and worms.
Conventional wisdom tells us that, if there is time to use it, the calculator would always provide the best answer, but this is not the case. In fact, the Reptile often makes better decisions even in what would be considered Calculator territory. Many times, the Reptile is forced to make decisions, because the Calculator gets overloaded.
Our rational brain is actually quite limited. It has an easy time making a purchase when the product is the same and the price, alone, differs. It gets lost when the decision has more than just a handful of variables. Buying a car, with the myriad of options, is an example. The shear number of factors: horsepower, color, body style, dealer support, overall quality, safety features, gas mileage, all varying between models, flusters the purely rational process.
Decisions made by instinct - the Reptile - are not only better, in many cases where you might not expect it, but are also not as prone to second guessing. This is because you can't re-evaluate the numbers if the decision was by instinct. For example, when you make the decision to purchase the car purely by weighting the numbers (gas mileage, safety features, size, etc), changing one variable after the fact ("I wish the vehicle had more room inside") throws the whole weighting system off track. Alternatively, try choosing a restaurant by a vote rather then instinct, and see which generally produces the best outcome (adjusting for service & experience, it will be the one chosen on a whim - instinct). We just tend to be happier with our choices if it's done by instinct, so long as the decision doesn't defy logical bounds, as many mortgages did during the last decade.
What needs to be added is that the Reptile works only if it has been trained. Training is only achieved through repetition, so athlete's train constantly. A hockey player will shoot on a goalie, in practice, countless times. At game time that player's shots aren't through deliberate mathematical calculations on the best strategy and trajectory to get past the goalie --- it's purely instinct. The pathways of the mind which make these instinctual decisions are refined by practice.
The actual decision is made in the pre-frontal cortex. This area of the brain serves as a switching station for the Reptile and the Calculator, along with weighing other factors, such as the moral & social aspects of the actions. This is the part of the brain that gives us our personality. It is also the place that was detached in the procedure known as a Labotomy, in a primitive effort to 'cure' many psychotic conditions.
The question then is what steps can be taken to train ourselves and our children how to make better decisions. The simple answer is training and learning to trust the Reptile, while tempering it with reason. I have thoughts about these things, but will save them for another post.
(See Malcom Gladwell's Blink or Jonah Lehrer's How We Decide
for many other excellent examples & more depth)
These are some of my thoughts based on that, admittedly, weak understanding of but a scratch upon the surface.
.............................................
At a high level, the way we make decisions in the mind are swayed by two major factors. The first is the Reptilian Complex (R-Complex) which is the basis for fight or flight style reactions. This is the part of our brain design that we share with the reptiles and is the what kicks in when we are in a rage or just need to make decisions faster than contemplative thought would allow. It's also the part of the brain that makes us creatures of habit - it's what gets us home on those trips over familiar territory where you don't even remember doing the driving. We use this part of the mind when playing a sport, which is the reason 'overthinking' a play is dangerous to an athlete, and people actually make a living as a sports psychologist.
The second factor is what I'll call the Calculator, the logical part of the mind (technically the neo-mammalian complex), which is something unique to humans. This is what makes us '(WO)MAN' - rational beings that have language, philosophy and the ability to plan ahead. This is why humans have farms and catch fish, rather then eat only seeds and worms.
Conventional wisdom tells us that, if there is time to use it, the calculator would always provide the best answer, but this is not the case. In fact, the Reptile often makes better decisions even in what would be considered Calculator territory. Many times, the Reptile is forced to make decisions, because the Calculator gets overloaded.
Our rational brain is actually quite limited. It has an easy time making a purchase when the product is the same and the price, alone, differs. It gets lost when the decision has more than just a handful of variables. Buying a car, with the myriad of options, is an example. The shear number of factors: horsepower, color, body style, dealer support, overall quality, safety features, gas mileage, all varying between models, flusters the purely rational process.
Decisions made by instinct - the Reptile - are not only better, in many cases where you might not expect it, but are also not as prone to second guessing. This is because you can't re-evaluate the numbers if the decision was by instinct. For example, when you make the decision to purchase the car purely by weighting the numbers (gas mileage, safety features, size, etc), changing one variable after the fact ("I wish the vehicle had more room inside") throws the whole weighting system off track. Alternatively, try choosing a restaurant by a vote rather then instinct, and see which generally produces the best outcome (adjusting for service & experience, it will be the one chosen on a whim - instinct). We just tend to be happier with our choices if it's done by instinct, so long as the decision doesn't defy logical bounds, as many mortgages did during the last decade.
What needs to be added is that the Reptile works only if it has been trained. Training is only achieved through repetition, so athlete's train constantly. A hockey player will shoot on a goalie, in practice, countless times. At game time that player's shots aren't through deliberate mathematical calculations on the best strategy and trajectory to get past the goalie --- it's purely instinct. The pathways of the mind which make these instinctual decisions are refined by practice.
The actual decision is made in the pre-frontal cortex. This area of the brain serves as a switching station for the Reptile and the Calculator, along with weighing other factors, such as the moral & social aspects of the actions. This is the part of the brain that gives us our personality. It is also the place that was detached in the procedure known as a Labotomy, in a primitive effort to 'cure' many psychotic conditions.
The question then is what steps can be taken to train ourselves and our children how to make better decisions. The simple answer is training and learning to trust the Reptile, while tempering it with reason. I have thoughts about these things, but will save them for another post.
(See Malcom Gladwell's Blink or Jonah Lehrer's How We Decide
for many other excellent examples & more depth)
Sunday, July 25, 2010
My Innate Sexism
On of my last posts was titled 'Chuck Norris in the 'Burbs', and in re-reading I noticed the phrase 'scream like a little girl' to describe an ineffective / weak response to something that demands action. This kind of stuck out to me as sexist, and not the impression I want my daughter to have of what it means to be a girl.
In my defense, little girls definitely do scream, and I witness it first-hand almost every day. Also, the description works, because everyone knows what it means when you say a grown man 'screamed like a little girl'. Finally, the sexes are (generally) wired differently - men and women think, react and express themselves in subtly different, yet distinct, ways. It would be unlikely (not unprecedented) if my son wants to excel at Dance and my daughter only wants to play hockey, and I don't think that's strictly based on 'nurture' or persuasion by parent, friends and society alone.
Still, as parents you really need to distinguish the stereotypes from the science. This was clearly a bad message to send.
That doesn't mean I'd change what I wrote. By eliminating or attempting to eliminate any 'sexist' references, you are in the position of denying that there is ANY difference in the sexes - when there are. You also put yourself into a position of denying the perceived (societal) differences, making what society and friends will ultimately teach the kids all the more potent. The child will then be very likely to find all the lessons from the 'good' parent wrong - trusting the more consistent and outwardly accurate miscues they find out in the real world.
I can't extricate the messages from my own mind, much less society, so there really is no other choice but to face them head on. The right thing to do then is to make it a point to explicitly point out the instances, regardless of source, and help the child find the root misconception, or even truth, in these views. Confronting issues like this head on and accurately will have more effect than pretending that they do not exist.
The book Nurture Shock had an excellent chapter that made a similar argument when it comes to race. The point was that denying racial differences exist (traditionally: good parenting), only serves to reinforce many of the worst societal misconceptions of racial differences.
In my defense, little girls definitely do scream, and I witness it first-hand almost every day. Also, the description works, because everyone knows what it means when you say a grown man 'screamed like a little girl'. Finally, the sexes are (generally) wired differently - men and women think, react and express themselves in subtly different, yet distinct, ways. It would be unlikely (not unprecedented) if my son wants to excel at Dance and my daughter only wants to play hockey, and I don't think that's strictly based on 'nurture' or persuasion by parent, friends and society alone.
Still, as parents you really need to distinguish the stereotypes from the science. This was clearly a bad message to send.
That doesn't mean I'd change what I wrote. By eliminating or attempting to eliminate any 'sexist' references, you are in the position of denying that there is ANY difference in the sexes - when there are. You also put yourself into a position of denying the perceived (societal) differences, making what society and friends will ultimately teach the kids all the more potent. The child will then be very likely to find all the lessons from the 'good' parent wrong - trusting the more consistent and outwardly accurate miscues they find out in the real world.
I can't extricate the messages from my own mind, much less society, so there really is no other choice but to face them head on. The right thing to do then is to make it a point to explicitly point out the instances, regardless of source, and help the child find the root misconception, or even truth, in these views. Confronting issues like this head on and accurately will have more effect than pretending that they do not exist.
The book Nurture Shock had an excellent chapter that made a similar argument when it comes to race. The point was that denying racial differences exist (traditionally: good parenting), only serves to reinforce many of the worst societal misconceptions of racial differences.
Nate's doctor checkup
I was right in the diagnosis, and likely outcome, for Nate's birthmark (here).
He was a little fussy yesterday - the day after the doctors visit and vaccination shots. He didn't have a temperature or anything beyond minor fussing though (minor fussing is a lot for him).
Nate's very healthy otherwise. No problems to report. He's not 90 to 95th percentile in every size/weight measurement, like his sister was, but he made major (double digit) gains in every category, since the last visit.
Head Size: 75th Percentile (from 50)
Weight: 50th Percentile (from 25)
Length: 60th Percentile (from 25)
He was a little fussy yesterday - the day after the doctors visit and vaccination shots. He didn't have a temperature or anything beyond minor fussing though (minor fussing is a lot for him).
Nate's very healthy otherwise. No problems to report. He's not 90 to 95th percentile in every size/weight measurement, like his sister was, but he made major (double digit) gains in every category, since the last visit.
Head Size: 75th Percentile (from 50)
Weight: 50th Percentile (from 25)
Length: 60th Percentile (from 25)
Monday, July 19, 2010
Chuck Norris in the 'burbs
I always wondered how I would react if I had to defend our house & family against intruders, and last night I got a chance to find out.
It was about 11PM, and the kids were both asleep in their beds. Cindy was on the other side of the house, by our bedroom. I was in the front room on the computer, not far from the front door, when there was loud rustling on the porch. It was clearly someone fumbling with the door, which happened to be unlocked at the time. As I got up, the door started to open, and my fight or flight instinct was in full effect.
This is a moment I have imagined in the past, a number of times in a variety of ways. In your imagination, it's possible to always be Chuck Norris. In these cases, the big issue is how to deliver the most kick-ass line, after disarming & beating up the last of 3 islamo-fascist-pirate-ninja intruders ("do you feel lucky, punk?"). Given that my real-life fight history is sparse and it never favored victory, even on those rare occasions, what reality would bring has always been a question mark. Lets just say that I've never ruled out the possibility that I would just scream like a young girl and hope the ax murderer was too busy with Cindy to come after me during the escape.
So, here I am running towards the door as it is about to swing open. This is fight or flight, and the Reptilian mind takes over....that part of the brain that makes all decisions made in the blink of an eye. My immediate thought was to actively and aggressively keep whoever was trying to get into the house out, if only to buy enough time to call 911. I was going to use shock and awe - slam the door back on them with some force. If I was too late to get the door, I wanted to knock them back off the porch, to buy the time to close & bolt the door.
The door was half-way open by the time I got to it. I grabbed the door and carried out the plan - forcing it closed, while yelling something that I can't remember. It was supposed to be a guttural threat that Rambo would give, but probably sounded more like Napoleon Dynamite with a case of nerd rage. The intruder responded, and at that moment I realized what I was facing. It was my dear wife. She went out the side door to get some stuff from her car and was returning in the front. She even told me she was doing this, but there is some part of a man's brain (probably located right next to the Reptilian Complex) that grants us the ability to ignore women's voices.
So, I let her in the house and we laughed about it. The good guys won this time. No one got hurt, we got a good story to tell and I have a little more confidence that I won't scream like a young girl, should a situation ever call for self defense.
It was about 11PM, and the kids were both asleep in their beds. Cindy was on the other side of the house, by our bedroom. I was in the front room on the computer, not far from the front door, when there was loud rustling on the porch. It was clearly someone fumbling with the door, which happened to be unlocked at the time. As I got up, the door started to open, and my fight or flight instinct was in full effect.
This is a moment I have imagined in the past, a number of times in a variety of ways. In your imagination, it's possible to always be Chuck Norris. In these cases, the big issue is how to deliver the most kick-ass line, after disarming & beating up the last of 3 islamo-fascist-pirate-ninja intruders ("do you feel lucky, punk?"). Given that my real-life fight history is sparse and it never favored victory, even on those rare occasions, what reality would bring has always been a question mark. Lets just say that I've never ruled out the possibility that I would just scream like a young girl and hope the ax murderer was too busy with Cindy to come after me during the escape.
So, here I am running towards the door as it is about to swing open. This is fight or flight, and the Reptilian mind takes over....that part of the brain that makes all decisions made in the blink of an eye. My immediate thought was to actively and aggressively keep whoever was trying to get into the house out, if only to buy enough time to call 911. I was going to use shock and awe - slam the door back on them with some force. If I was too late to get the door, I wanted to knock them back off the porch, to buy the time to close & bolt the door.
The door was half-way open by the time I got to it. I grabbed the door and carried out the plan - forcing it closed, while yelling something that I can't remember. It was supposed to be a guttural threat that Rambo would give, but probably sounded more like Napoleon Dynamite with a case of nerd rage. The intruder responded, and at that moment I realized what I was facing. It was my dear wife. She went out the side door to get some stuff from her car and was returning in the front. She even told me she was doing this, but there is some part of a man's brain (probably located right next to the Reptilian Complex) that grants us the ability to ignore women's voices.
So, I let her in the house and we laughed about it. The good guys won this time. No one got hurt, we got a good story to tell and I have a little more confidence that I won't scream like a young girl, should a situation ever call for self defense.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Early hints of personality
We recently started putting Nate in a bebePod chair
. It's the perfect place to sit when the kid can keep their neck up but not sit upright, yet. There is a spinning toy that mounts to the front, and Nate uses it. Actually, he beats on the toy and will spin it for as long as he's in the chair. This is notable because I contrast it with how Lily acted in that same chair, at the same age. She barely acknowledged the toy, and even then mainly to examine it or slowly manipulate it.
It's remarkable how many hints to personality differences are already clear, compared with his sister, at just under 4 months. It's another sign of just how much of what makes us is programmed into the mind at the genetic level, rather than the environment. Just some observed differences:
. It's the perfect place to sit when the kid can keep their neck up but not sit upright, yet. There is a spinning toy that mounts to the front, and Nate uses it. Actually, he beats on the toy and will spin it for as long as he's in the chair. This is notable because I contrast it with how Lily acted in that same chair, at the same age. She barely acknowledged the toy, and even then mainly to examine it or slowly manipulate it.It's remarkable how many hints to personality differences are already clear, compared with his sister, at just under 4 months. It's another sign of just how much of what makes us is programmed into the mind at the genetic level, rather than the environment. Just some observed differences:
| Lily | Nate |
| Never willingly slept in a crib. | Has slept in the crib since day one, every single night. |
| Has been highly selective about who holds her, something that started just weeks after her birth. Went through phases of 'mom only' and would cry incessantly if mom wasn't available. | Has never complained about any stranger holding him, or anyone who was watching him. |
| Has shown little to no interest in television. | Fascinated with television - it distracts him when it's on in the room. |
| Refused 'tummy time'. Never really went through a 'crawling' phase, likely because of this. | Already rolls over to stomach when in crib and is very active in that position, hinting that he might take to crawling. |
| Never aggressively played toys and rattles, and was bored quickly. | Aggressively and persistently plays with rattles & toys. |
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Perfecting Step #1
Lily was on the edge of toilet training for a while. She recognized the time, she knew the place, and she was well practiced with the process (pull down pants/diaper, #1 &; 2, flush, wipe, wash hands)....the only step she missed was #1 & #2.
We patiently let her go through this process as a framework for when she finally got that crucial middle part down. She enjoyed the process alone, since practicality or function isn't in the 2 year old's vocabulary. She called for it almost nightly, for a few months.
So, we had daily calls from her to 'pee', but it was, consistently, a dry run. Then, a unique opportunity presented itself. While on the potty, she realized that she actually had to go. She was shocked and hopped off quick. She wanted her diaper back on - asap. I pulled it up and shortly after it was clear that she was putting her diaper to use. She even confirmed this was the case when asked.
I took the opportunity to calmly up-sell use of the potty for that activity. This speech is routine, but the timing seemed to work better this time.
That night, right before bed, she asked to 'pee' again. I was reluctant, since this is traditionally a time when she looks for anything and everything that will delay bedtime. Still, she wasn't in full rebellious mode, so I let her go.
After being seated on the potty, she asked to hold my hand. Then she got real shy. Then she went.
That was a month ago. Since then she has asked to be seated for nearly every pee where the toilet is available. We've gently explained that #2 can be done in the same step, but she has been reluctant to try, so far. That will come with time.
We patiently let her go through this process as a framework for when she finally got that crucial middle part down. She enjoyed the process alone, since practicality or function isn't in the 2 year old's vocabulary. She called for it almost nightly, for a few months.
So, we had daily calls from her to 'pee', but it was, consistently, a dry run. Then, a unique opportunity presented itself. While on the potty, she realized that she actually had to go. She was shocked and hopped off quick. She wanted her diaper back on - asap. I pulled it up and shortly after it was clear that she was putting her diaper to use. She even confirmed this was the case when asked.
I took the opportunity to calmly up-sell use of the potty for that activity. This speech is routine, but the timing seemed to work better this time.
That night, right before bed, she asked to 'pee' again. I was reluctant, since this is traditionally a time when she looks for anything and everything that will delay bedtime. Still, she wasn't in full rebellious mode, so I let her go.
After being seated on the potty, she asked to hold my hand. Then she got real shy. Then she went.
That was a month ago. Since then she has asked to be seated for nearly every pee where the toilet is available. We've gently explained that #2 can be done in the same step, but she has been reluctant to try, so far. That will come with time.
Monday, July 12, 2010
We read books made from trees
A New World
The market for e-Readers, like the Kindle, is reaching a point where I am almost ready to step in. They'll probably be $99 for Christmas and sold at essentially disposable prices going forward. Given the potential market by getting them into people's hands, with the profit in selling content, they'll probably be ubiquitous in a matter of years - penetrating schools of every level. It should, at the very least, greatly cut the cost of delivering textbooks.
I'm beginning to pay attention to the market, since using a e-Reader has a definite appeal. In reading the reviews I've noticed comments about how people enjoy not having to keep a 'stack of books around', and this actually made me sad. I was struck with the realization that our bookshelves are suddenly obsolete.
I devoured books when I was young, reading anything that was in front of me - my sibling's old school text books, outdated Almanacs, etc. I still read a lot now, but have the luxury of being more selective, even if there is reduced time available, after taking into account adult responsibilities and numerous distractions. Still, I always promised that my children would never want for a book. We have a library now that offers many choices and are committed as parents to give them any book they ask for, going forward. I am well aware of studies that purport to show how kids that grow up with books do better.
Now, suddenly, the medium of 'paper book' is obsolete. We are in a whole new world.
Don't Be Stupid
I believe in collective memory, to the point that other people and electronic devices can sufficiently fill in gaps that our brains were responsible for in the past - making life easier. Our minds are designed to work this way.
Take Socrates fear of the alphabet. He feared it because he thought it would make people forget the spoken word. It sounds ridiculous now, but this technology released the demand (ability or burden?) to relay knowledge unto the next generation. Now we take the alphabet for granted. It allows us to transfer language - the medium of thought - beyond the life of the thinker. It's what allows us to have some idea about Socrate's thoughts.
Many modern technologies and groupings of people offer the same benefits by replacing things the brain was responsible for in the past, for example:
We don't remember phone numbers anymore, because once they are in our contact list on the cell phone, why should they take up space in the mind? The same goes for calculators, which allow us to do complex math calculations without being bogged down by the repetition of its units. We know where to reference this information, so why should we spend our energy producing and storing it?
This same collective memory that trusts technology applies to groups of people, at work or in relationships. Your co-worker knows how to file 'that' paperwork, and your spouse knows the password to the home Wifi network -- why should you learn it too? You know the trick to getting the lawnmower started, releasing your spouse from that burden, and this trade off of knowledge is what makes the bond in relationships - this reliance - so strong. Our brains are full of gaps where we rely on those around us, and increasingly, that reliance is on technology.
This is how technology and functioning groups of people save time. It's a niche that I'm sure e-Readers will fit into nicely.
There are definite benefits, and definitely some dangers. The danger is that by blurring the line between books and other content, you force the person to decide one over the other. It's hard enough when Movies, Television, and Xbox games sit in the same room as a book, but what happens when they come from one and the same device? I can't see the book winning a straight forward fight in the mind of most children. The danger is that children will never learn to read for anything more than a requirement. How do you persuade someone to read when the other options are so readily available?
I've actually wrote on this issue in the past, in a more philosophical, rather then technology specific level....
http://paxfamilia.blogspot.com/2010/01/conventional-wisdom-of-modern.html
The market for e-Readers, like the Kindle, is reaching a point where I am almost ready to step in. They'll probably be $99 for Christmas and sold at essentially disposable prices going forward. Given the potential market by getting them into people's hands, with the profit in selling content, they'll probably be ubiquitous in a matter of years - penetrating schools of every level. It should, at the very least, greatly cut the cost of delivering textbooks.
I'm beginning to pay attention to the market, since using a e-Reader has a definite appeal. In reading the reviews I've noticed comments about how people enjoy not having to keep a 'stack of books around', and this actually made me sad. I was struck with the realization that our bookshelves are suddenly obsolete.
I devoured books when I was young, reading anything that was in front of me - my sibling's old school text books, outdated Almanacs, etc. I still read a lot now, but have the luxury of being more selective, even if there is reduced time available, after taking into account adult responsibilities and numerous distractions. Still, I always promised that my children would never want for a book. We have a library now that offers many choices and are committed as parents to give them any book they ask for, going forward. I am well aware of studies that purport to show how kids that grow up with books do better.
Now, suddenly, the medium of 'paper book' is obsolete. We are in a whole new world.
Don't Be Stupid
Just to be clear, I do NOT believe e-Reading will make people stupid.
Take Socrates fear of the alphabet. He feared it because he thought it would make people forget the spoken word. It sounds ridiculous now, but this technology released the demand (ability or burden?) to relay knowledge unto the next generation. Now we take the alphabet for granted. It allows us to transfer language - the medium of thought - beyond the life of the thinker. It's what allows us to have some idea about Socrate's thoughts.
Many modern technologies and groupings of people offer the same benefits by replacing things the brain was responsible for in the past, for example:
We don't remember phone numbers anymore, because once they are in our contact list on the cell phone, why should they take up space in the mind? The same goes for calculators, which allow us to do complex math calculations without being bogged down by the repetition of its units. We know where to reference this information, so why should we spend our energy producing and storing it?
This same collective memory that trusts technology applies to groups of people, at work or in relationships. Your co-worker knows how to file 'that' paperwork, and your spouse knows the password to the home Wifi network -- why should you learn it too? You know the trick to getting the lawnmower started, releasing your spouse from that burden, and this trade off of knowledge is what makes the bond in relationships - this reliance - so strong. Our brains are full of gaps where we rely on those around us, and increasingly, that reliance is on technology.
This is how technology and functioning groups of people save time. It's a niche that I'm sure e-Readers will fit into nicely.
There are definite benefits, and definitely some dangers. The danger is that by blurring the line between books and other content, you force the person to decide one over the other. It's hard enough when Movies, Television, and Xbox games sit in the same room as a book, but what happens when they come from one and the same device? I can't see the book winning a straight forward fight in the mind of most children. The danger is that children will never learn to read for anything more than a requirement. How do you persuade someone to read when the other options are so readily available?
Future Progress
You can't compete against progress. Forcing a child to live in the past will only make adulthood more daunting. The best you can do is incentivize the right activities and lead by example, in the best direction, rather then just follow to wherever progress takes us.
I've actually wrote on this issue in the past, in a more philosophical, rather then technology specific level....
http://paxfamilia.blogspot.com/2010/01/conventional-wisdom-of-modern.html
Friday, July 9, 2010
Nate's Birthmark
Nate has a small birthmark on his forehead. It has been there as long as I can remember. It's likely a case of Infantile Hemangioma (only click that link if you want to see some really scary, non-representative, pictures).
If that diagnosis is right it means that it will continue to grow until he's 9 months to a year old. It will then start to fade and will completely disappear sometime within 1 to nine years after it stops growing. Occasionally they leave a little remnant behind, but typically it just disappears. There is no danger to his health, and rarely is there cause for treatment of any kind.
As a parent, it's good to know that it won't be something carried throughout life, and there is so much out there that is so much worse. Still, it isn't fun to see your kids have to deal with anything, no matter how trivial.
If that diagnosis is right it means that it will continue to grow until he's 9 months to a year old. It will then start to fade and will completely disappear sometime within 1 to nine years after it stops growing. Occasionally they leave a little remnant behind, but typically it just disappears. There is no danger to his health, and rarely is there cause for treatment of any kind.
As a parent, it's good to know that it won't be something carried throughout life, and there is so much out there that is so much worse. Still, it isn't fun to see your kids have to deal with anything, no matter how trivial.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
2 years and 2 months
Lily is two years and two months today.
She has a favorite song - Simon & Garfunkel's 'Mrs Robinson'. She calls it 'doo doo doo'. She also likes the Beatles 'Let It Be'. That's pretty good taste in music.
She can say the alphabet. Actually, she can sing it, even if she's a little prone to get lost midway or repeat sections. She doesn't recognize the geometric shapes that make up the alphabet or their appropriate phonetic representation. Still, it looks impressive for a couple months past 2.
She's definitely in her Two's. The pre-frontal cortex isn't fully up and running yet, so even a little hunger or lack of sleep can make drama out of any situation. Tears, cries and full scale rebellion come easy.
She plays soccer and is learning to swim. Soccer is on Saturday mornings, and she's very skilled when she's not feeling shy. Swimming can happen any day there is time, and is one of our favorite activities right now in these early days of July.
She's shy. If there is one place I want to help her, it's here. You can't change the programming in the mind, but you can teach them how to work around anything that might be a barrier.
She's a daddy's girl right now. This is probably because I put her to bed and mom has more direct involvement with her little brother, at this point. Activities, like soccer and swimming also tend to involve dad more than mom. This pendulum will swing.
She's about halfway to potty trained. The process (detecting the need, pull down clothes/diaper, use, wipe, flush, wash hands) are all working for #1. She's still not ready to use the potty for #2, and there is no pressure being applied, just an occasional explanation of the benefits over diaper.
She speaks in sentences. Her language skills are remarkably developed and are constantly being refined. New words, better phonetics and more complex expressions are a daily occurrence.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Better communication through screaming
Lily was a baby until fairly recently. Now she's a toddler. This is why she cries for some things she could ask for, even with her recently acquired language skills.
Right now, she's not at a wholly unacceptable age for outbursts, but that time will come. This is why our mission, as parents, is to use the carrot and (proverbial) stick to fully transform her primary communication method from cry to words.
It's not a particularly fun task. Crying gets your attention faster and at a certain decibel level you respond faster, instinctively, on an almost fight of flight level. Then, after any sustained cry, you want to do whatever it takes to stop it.
The other factor that weighs in is the development stage of the 'Terrible Twos', where delayed gratification doesn't exist and emotions are just new & downright confusing.
Still, I have little doubt that firm and loving consistency is the best thing.
Right now, she's not at a wholly unacceptable age for outbursts, but that time will come. This is why our mission, as parents, is to use the carrot and (proverbial) stick to fully transform her primary communication method from cry to words.
It's not a particularly fun task. Crying gets your attention faster and at a certain decibel level you respond faster, instinctively, on an almost fight of flight level. Then, after any sustained cry, you want to do whatever it takes to stop it.
The other factor that weighs in is the development stage of the 'Terrible Twos', where delayed gratification doesn't exist and emotions are just new & downright confusing.
Still, I have little doubt that firm and loving consistency is the best thing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)