Took back the backyard

Two years ago I wrote that we were going to take back the backyard, and this is the year we did it.    It didn't happen overnight, and it's not entirely done.....AND, it's going to require regular work.   But, the end is near.   We are approaching the point where it's less 'taking back' and more 'improving'.     We have reached the point where I am proud of our backyard (and front too).

I'm proud of our redone, low maintenance landscaping in front and (almost done) back.    I'm proud of our raised vegetable garden.    I'm proud of the kid's playset.  Mostly, it feels great to see the kid's enjoying their time back there -- it's a pretty cool backyard for a 4 / 2 year old. 

There are still a list of changes, to-do's, and I look forward to getting to each one.

Every moment is a little bit later

My milestone birthday came and went, and I'm no different.   A little worse for wear, but wearing it well.

Last night I played my first game in a 40+ hockey league.  Moving to this league wasn't to score more against aged opponents.  I would have stayed 35+, but Monday night just works better.   Most of the people on my team are now 50+.    They look older - much like teenagers did when I was in elementary school and college kids looked in high school.    I'll fit in some day.   We won the game.   I didn't register a point.

The kid's are still at an age where every birthday is a milestone, so the wait for my next milestone birthday should be fun.   Living vicariously is fine, in moderation.    Maybe I can play hockey with my kids in 2022.

Mr Rogers and his sweater trick

The only television show we watch is Mr Rogers Neighborhood.    We play episodes a couple nights a week (the entire series is free on Amazon Prime, fwiw).

 It's a strange show.    So innocent and slow moving that it borders on creepy to my jaded adult eye.    For the kids, I'm convinced it's perfect.    The show does a great job explaining things that are very real, and not all that easy to explain.    It covers heavier topics than you probably remember, if you haven't seen it in years...sad feelings, even death, etc.   And it does all this without ever playing to the adult audience -- it's focused squarely on the child.

The show also avoids any hint of fireworks.   It doesn't offer constant rewards, but rather moves at the pace of life (maybe even slower).   It's designed to challenge attention spans, not shorten them.

The only part that loses me are the 'Trolly Time' fantasy segments.   The kid's never lose interest, but I can't follow them.   Maybe I'm just too old to understand them.    Mr Rogers (with neighbors) segments and the 'factory tour....how this is made' videos both suck me in though.

So, everyone knows how Mr Rogers enters the house singing and puts on a different color sweater at the start of each show.   I started the game of guessing what color sweater he would wear.   I never called it once, but Lily got it right 3 times in a row.    The first two times might have been luck, but on the third she admitted her secret.   He always pulls the sweater from the left side, even though there are clearly 4 or 5 other sweaters in the closet.

The old neighborhood

I found myself in the old neighborhood today. 

I took the opportunity and drove down Bluehill lane.   I saw a house that I could barely remember and it was well cared for.   For some reason you want to size up the people that live there and what I saw was that they drive a minivan and apparently have a child in the military.    They are just regular people, like we were.
 
Tomorrow is Mothers Day and in July it will be 10 years since I lost my mom.   It's sad that my first memory when seeing the house was the time when she passed.   I have to strain to think of other times there, even though the regular times were so much more common.   

Tenets of parenting

I was trying to boil down the tenets of how to be a good parent (IMO).....

1.  Turn the TV off.   Make turning it on a special social event, not a ritual of escapism.    Don't fear content, but do fear the constant rewards it provides.

2.  Pay close attention to their friends - peers, and do whatever possible to make sure they are good & diverse.   Those friends will have as much of an effect on your kid as you.

3.  Look at kids as scientists and be patient.  It's good if they change interests and want to try everything.   There will be plenty of failed experiments along the way.

4.  Make the kid do things for themselves, even if it's more work.   Force independence from the diaper into adulthood.   So many adults are incompetent at basic things (cooking, laundry, etc) because their parents didn't take the time to make them do things for themselves.

5.  Then just hope they got a good mix of genes, because it has a bigger effect than anything a parent can do.