Spiders, Lions and you and me

There is a spider that lives in the side mirror of my truck.   I enjoy a new web between the mirror and door every morning.  The webs are really a work of art, once you get past the creepiness.  It's fascinating that the ability to build these is seeded in these little creatures.

I've had a few chances to point this out to Lily, who has a fear of 'bugs', but I can't do it.   It's the predatory nature of web that makes it hard to explain.  I don't want to introduce her to how spiders live or what lions eat.     I fear the day she realizes that Chicken in the kitchen is just a cut up Chicken from the farm, if she hasn't already.  

She'll learn these things but just seems too innocent to know it all right now.   

It's the blanket, not the fireworks

We had an action packed weekend, bouncing from event to event.   It was a tight schedule but we fit everything in.

Saturday night I put Lily to bed and recapped the day with her, like I always do.  I talked about setting up the Chiari walk, soccer, the balloon launch and all the big events of the day.   Then I asked her what her favorite event was, and she referred to something that I hadn't even thought to mention.   She said it was when we were sitting on the tailgate of my truck waiting for mom to return with the stroller.   I had taken a cracked hockey stick that was in the back of my truck and was letting her hold it (with assistance).   It was essentially a time filler, taking advantage of a beautiful view of Stony Creek lake, rather then waiting in the truck.

It struck me that the big events aren't always the ones that matter.   You go to the firework show, but it's often the time waiting for things, lying on the blanket in the grass, where all the best things happen.

Nate turns 1/2 years old

Actually, he turned 1/2 on Saturday.

These are some thoughts on these first six months and where Nate's at now.....

• He's very active.  Kicking, rolling, squirming. and grabbing anything he can get his hands on.

• Nate isn't one to complain.   He cries when he's hungry, but that's about it.   He's a tough little guy.

• Laughs and smiles come easy.  It's one of those baby laughs that is irresistible when you hear it.  

• The foods he's tried so far include rice, sweet potato, carrots and peas.    He likes sweet potatoes, but the peas....not so much.  

• He's a little ball of muscle, with very little baby fat.  

• Nate loves his sister.  She's the only one that can make him laugh on cue or just by jumping up and down.   He's fascinated with Lily.  

• Nate doesn't sit down.   He can, but it just doesn't appeal to him.   The little guy falls to the floor to roll around the moment he gets the chance.   

• I'm pretty sure that once he can walk, we will look back to this era as the golden age.   Based on his personality -- once he can move, he's probably not going to stop.   

• He's not crawling yet, but that will change soon.  This doesn't stop him from getting where he wants -- he scoots and rolls and can get around the room just fine.

• Breastfeeding is a lot of work, especially after returning to work.   Mom deserves a medal.

• The little guy sleeps like clockwork.   Historically it was 8 to 5, every night.    It's just in the last few weeks that he started staying up till about 9PM.  Getting him to bed is rarely any trouble.  

• I think we are healthier as a family now, than at any point before, in part because of how low maintenance Nate is.   Improvements since he arrived include Cindy running her first 5K (the day after Nate's 1/2 birthday), Yoga for us, Soccer/Dance for Lily, along with regular workouts and a better diet for all.

• Adjusting to Nate was far easier than Lily, because second children are just less of a shock.  There were changes, but not nearly as many.  It definitely makes things more complicated having two, but none of the complications come as big surprises.

• The time goes really quick.  You finally accept one change and they move onto another.   It would be nice to have a pause button.

Lessons in parenting, from Calvin Johnson

The Detroit Lion's wide receiver, Calvin Johnson, caught a pass this past weekend and it was ruled that he didn't catch it because of some nonsensical rule.  This caused the Lions to lose the game, and it got me mad.   My 2-year old daughter saw me get mad (and vocalize it).

She had a scared look on her face then ran to give me a hug.   Seeing this instantly calmed me down.   I went from anger to guilt in an instant, and took on the task of explaining that it was events on the TV that was causing the reaction.    The absurdity of sports fandom becomes apparent when you frighten a young child.

I also realized that this was the voice I need for certain situations in dealing with this little girl.    It's very likely this voice will come naturally at some point, for something she does, but it hasn't happened yet.  Toddlers tend to be blameless even in full rebellion.  Their worst actions tend to be when they are unknowingly about to inflict damage on themselves (or a younger sibling).

In the meantime, it might be nice to be able to project this voice, occasionally, if it's warranted.    Just not too much, or else it will lose effectiveness.

The case for smaller bookshelves

My Kindle will arrive very soon, according to Amazon.  That's about one month between order and arrival.   The long delay makes for an uncomfortable space, since I wound down my (real) book queue prior to the purchase.   That left little on the 'unread' shelf.

This has prompted me to (finally) venture into 'Democracy in America' by noted 19th Century author Alexis de Tocqueville.  Traditionally, these books spend more time on shelves than being read.....the definition of a 'Classic', I suppose.   Well into the first of the two books, it appears to be a worthy classic - as prescient and insightful as the hype claimed, and a relatively easy read when compared with other work from the time.    It should also be noted that this book will be free on every e-Reader, since it's well over 96 years old and thus firmly in the public domain.

So, I find myself on the edge of the digital-reader abyss.   Reading a p(aper)-Book from a bygone era in order to better understand the present, while preparing for something new (e(lectronic)-books) that will replace all that I have known in the past.    It gives me a sense of instant-nostalgia and some fear.   It makes me think.  

I see this as a major change and it deserves a lot of contemplation, because it will effect how we read, which plays a big part into how and what we think.

This is an interesting take on how the brain works differently between paper and electronic books:

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/09/the-future-of-reading-2/

I lightly disagree with the author of that post, because  I don't see the problem being the ease/difficulty of reading.   Our brains have adjusted to everything from the alphabet (to pass thoughts on beyond our lifetime) right up to stuff like cell phones (which take away the need to memorize phone numbers).  So, moving reading from paper to e-Ink screens will just be another thing we adapt to.   Previous technologies that replace some part of brain function (made things easier) have all been easily adapted into our lives.   The easier, the better.

The real problem is the quantity - the depth of these new shelves.    

So, 'Democracy in America' can be had for nothing, downloaded right to your e-Reader of choice in seconds, and immediately placed into competition with a billion other books, instant news updates, games, movies, and entertainment of every kind.

Now I walk past the bookshelf to get to the newspaper.    In the future, that information will be even closer, but buried deeper.  The bookshelves will be massive and the choices many, but it will be hard to see anything through the noise.

No more warnings

Warnings don't work with a 2 year old.   In fact, they make things worse.  

Tell a kid that they have to stop some activity on the count of three, and they hear that they can keep doing it till you are done counting.    Then they'll test you past that point, waiting for the response that they know you don't really want to take the time to give.

We've recently enacted shock & awe timeouts with our two year old.   No more warnings.  Just a response - for anything that clearly violate the 'laws'.

Timeouts are enforced by bringing her to her bedroom, and asking her to sit on her bed (as confirmation of compliance).   Sometimes this takes a little while, but it's getting faster, and it always works in the end - she sits on the bed.   Then she gets a conversation and occasionally some kind of penance for her actions (apologize to someone she disobeyed or whatever).

This was started recently, but we've seen progress.   Last night she put her baby doll in 'timeout' because she was 'not listening'.   She's thinking about the problem.  

Another week, another language spurt

I was watching Lily play with a toy cell phone.   In the past she would typically say 'Hello' and 'uh huh', repeating phrases.    This time she practiced a conversation.   She developed a scenario.

Many lines were not clear, but from what I could make out she was making dinner and talking to Amy.   I'd guess that the gibberish parts were, at least in part, some kind of gibberish confabulation - filled in for the words and sentences she can't build yet.   Even the gibberish was unique though, which lead me to believe that this was a blank for a bigger conversation being practiced.

A week or so ago it was Nate's language spurt.  He has never been one to cry much (he's very tough), but just recently he learned to yell.   So, when he's in need of attention - he yells.   It starts small, and builds.

My experience is limited & anecdotal.   I have no idea what the science is.    Still, I would be amazed if brain development isn't normally achieved in 'spurts'.    I've never seen a change evolve into being, it just happened - a revolution.
 

A big night

Nate was sick.  Lily was causing trouble.   It didn't look like anything big was going to happen.  Getting through the night looked like the biggest accomplishment possible.  Then, at the age of 2 years and exactly 4 months, Lily did it, the accomplishment we have been waiting on for months, a monumental event of epic proportions.....she went #2 on the toilet.

She had been on the edge for a while, ever since the breakthrough on #1.   She regularly expressed fear with the process, and we'd calmly up-sell the benefits, without the slightest pressure.   We'd tell her that there is nothing to fear.  She'd acknowledge us, then we'd find her a minute later bearing down to fill up another diaper.

When Cindy took her last night, it didn't look this would be the big event.   Cindy even whispered a worn, slightly defeatist comment about the futility of it.   Then it happened.....at about 7:15PM, on September 7th, 2010, she did it.  

Afterwards, she seemed happy, a little shocked and definitely relieved.   We were overjoyed.   Everyone but Nate got a treat from Erma's Frozen Custard.    Hooray.

My little friend who lives in the mirror

Spiders get bigger as the summer progresses.   One of these large spiders has moved into the side view mirror of my truck.    So, every night she comes out and builds an intricate web between the mirror and the door.   Every morning I drive to work or gym, and the web gets blown away - usually around the time the truck hits full speed on I-696.

I've had the opportunity to flick her away, or worse, but it just didn't seem right.  The creepy little thing is just making a living, and builds intricately crafted webs every night which can be quite beautiful to admire in the morning.   I even feel guilty enough ripping the creation to tatters on my drive to-and-from work.

Our schedules are like book ends.  Every night, late at night, she builds her web.  Then she works the night shift hoping that a moth flies by.   I arrive in the morning, and only slamming the door closed sends her to the inside of the mirror.   She takes the entire day off, not to be seen until nightfall, after I'm asleep.

We've had some close calls in our three weeks together.   One time the little spider felt it necessary to grab a moth stuck to the web, while in traffic.   It looked like she was going to be gone with the wind, but somehow managed to get whipped back into the crevice alongside the mirror.

So, for the time being, the spider is like my third child.   The difference being that I would never squish Nate, if he happens to crawl up my arm.