#1 - Never trust a weatherman.
The weatherman said cold + rain, and if we relied on that, then Thanksgiving day would have just been a Saturday that arrived early. The weatherman was wrong. The rain stopped the moment we left, and only started again after outdoor activities were over.
#2 - It's about the journey.
If it's not the weather, then something else will cause a change in plans at times. You can't fight it, so why bother? We were stuck in traffic and didn't make the start time of the race. So, we joined in the middle and enjoyed the run. There is always another chance to get a PR or BQ, and the actual race was only made more memorable due to the alteration.
#3 - Treat every new shared experience as a new experience (don't be jaded).
The idea of a parade seems anachronistic in a world where dinosaurs, superheroes and robots the size of buildings tear across the movie screen. I felt the pangs of boredom with the mere thought of marching bands and floats. My daughter sees the world a lot differently. She's never seen a 50 foot balloon, a parade float, a legion of costumed characters with enormous heads or even a group of horses walking in formation. It reminded me that there was a point when seeing a horse would impress me in the past, and for the first time in a long time, the horses even impressed me, because of her reaction.
#4 - Even the shyest person warms up if you are at the party long enough.
She has been excited about the family get together all week, but when you get there she still freezes up. She won't leave mom or dad's side. The walls break down by the end, but it's never fast enough.
#5 - Bring pajamas.
A long day means an early bedtime. We were all sleeping within 45 minutes, but it would have been sooner if the young ones were wearing pajamas on the drive home.
Monday, November 29, 2010
A Dad's emotions at birth
As a father, you are right to feel guilty for having thoughts or emotions while your wife is in labor. Pregnancy is a rough process and you are never more clearly in a support role then at that moment. Still, the reality is that you have a lot of thoughts and emotions of your own. I think I'm far enough removed from my two experiences in that role to explain some of them:
Lily was our first, born nearly two weeks after her due date. It was the biggest build up of my life, and it wound up being delayed for as long as clinically possible. Even the labor was stretched out over a whole day, and ended in surgery. The delivery was whirlwind surgery in a foreign looking surgery room rather then the warm and fuzzy delivery room. Emotionally, I was dazed, confused and bewildered. I looked catatonic, because I felt that way.
Nate's birth was scheduled and prepped to be anti-climactic. We'd go in a week before the due date, and the delivery would be over before lunch. I knew what to expect and felt like a veteran going in, an old hand. This time my reaction was different.....but not really how I expected. This time I was a wreck - tears, the whole works, it was almost pathetic.
It might be obvious to others, but I found it hard to explain both the stoically shocked first experience and the outwardly emotional second. If asked to guess beforehand, I would pick the opposite reaction. In retrospect, it all makes sense.
With the first born, I was confused - shocked even. When my second was born, I was a veteran, the shock was gone, and only the love I knew I would have for the new child remained. So, raising Lily taught me how much I'd eventually love Nate.
This realization helped me resolve some awkward feelings I had about the period between learning of the pregnancy and meeting Nate. It kind of goes like this: If someone pointed to a door and told you that you would eventually love the next person to walk through dearly, then you wouldn't believe them. What if you know that's the case with certainty based on past experience? The person is still a foreigner when they walk through the door, even if they are, initially, a 'stranger'.
Lily was our first, born nearly two weeks after her due date. It was the biggest build up of my life, and it wound up being delayed for as long as clinically possible. Even the labor was stretched out over a whole day, and ended in surgery. The delivery was whirlwind surgery in a foreign looking surgery room rather then the warm and fuzzy delivery room. Emotionally, I was dazed, confused and bewildered. I looked catatonic, because I felt that way.
Nate's birth was scheduled and prepped to be anti-climactic. We'd go in a week before the due date, and the delivery would be over before lunch. I knew what to expect and felt like a veteran going in, an old hand. This time my reaction was different.....but not really how I expected. This time I was a wreck - tears, the whole works, it was almost pathetic.
It might be obvious to others, but I found it hard to explain both the stoically shocked first experience and the outwardly emotional second. If asked to guess beforehand, I would pick the opposite reaction. In retrospect, it all makes sense.
With the first born, I was confused - shocked even. When my second was born, I was a veteran, the shock was gone, and only the love I knew I would have for the new child remained. So, raising Lily taught me how much I'd eventually love Nate.
This realization helped me resolve some awkward feelings I had about the period between learning of the pregnancy and meeting Nate. It kind of goes like this: If someone pointed to a door and told you that you would eventually love the next person to walk through dearly, then you wouldn't believe them. What if you know that's the case with certainty based on past experience? The person is still a foreigner when they walk through the door, even if they are, initially, a 'stranger'.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
The Shallows
The answer to a nail is a hammer, and we all know not to hit it with our hands. The invention of the hammer wasn't just a physical creation, but also the extension of our hand in the mind's eye. The technology transformed what our body could do and what we envision as possible. We didn't just change technology in this case -- it changed us. It changed how we view our bodies, and what we view possible when we see nails.
The same goes for more recent technology innovations, like the cell phone. The cell phone makes our voice and ears work remotely, and it's a natural extension of the body. We wouldn't think to scream to someone miles away, but the fact that we can talk to them is naturally embedded into the way we plan our day or the drive home.
There are many more examples of technology being appended to our natural abilities, but the biggest modifications are those that effect the mind - how we think. In this group we can filter down to a handful that have had a direct revolutionary effect on the very way we think and see the world.
Later the printed book arrived, which made these thoughts widely available. It introduced the concept of the introverted genius, where knowledge was primarily gained by long hours in books. This contrasted with Socrates time where the storyteller or bard - a performance - was the source for knowledge.
With each of these changes the way we think and view the world changed. It's important to take notes of how it has changed in the past because we are in the midst of a range of technologies that will have a major effect into the future.
No one had a personal computer when I was born in 1972. Virtually no one had a personal computer when I was 5 years old. A decade later it was a dedicated hobby that was very expensive, and very few people owned them. A decade after that it was well on the way to ubiquity. In regards to human history, this is but a blip, but the changes are drastic. We now live in a world where most people carry more processing power in their pocket, by way of a cell phone, than the entire world had just a few decades ago. As computing power moves to devices (from dedicated computers), we soon won't be able to recognize what's a computer and what isn't.
So, this is the revolution we are living in. I grew up in a world of books, but children born into this age will know nothing but computers. Knowledge was transferred as a straight line, from cover to cover, in the age of books. Now it will be hyperlinked and searchable - free to whim, skim and lacking focus. The way we think is being transformed to match, and that's not necessarily for the best.
Look at the letter - the primary form of communication over long distances throughout human history. It's something written on paper and sent through the mail service (physically) to a recipient. Personal communications via hand written letter have all but been replaced in just the last couple decades. A personal letter right now is like a horse and carriage for transportation - quaint and archaic and impractical. The email is what ultimately signed the death notice for the letter. Yet, email probably doesn't have much of a future, and will itself be supplanted by text messaging in the years to come. Email is already looked on by younger generations as quaint and a bit archaic, with the longer message length, full formating, lack of formal shorthand (lol, bff, wtf, etc) all being a waste of time.
More and more I fall in line with Socrates here, because I see far too many dangers in this new innovation. Yes, computers improve productivity in the workplace and can lead to more efficient processes (medical records, etc), but for personal use there is far too much noise before you find the benefits. Maybe people will learn to take the good and leave the bad as the technology matures, but that's a long way off, when it comes to our lifetimes. I don't want to spend my life being a beta tester, but in many respects I have no choice.
These are my thoughts, liberally borrowed, from the excellent and highly recommended book the The Shallows by Nicholas Carr
.
The same goes for more recent technology innovations, like the cell phone. The cell phone makes our voice and ears work remotely, and it's a natural extension of the body. We wouldn't think to scream to someone miles away, but the fact that we can talk to them is naturally embedded into the way we plan our day or the drive home.
There are many more examples of technology being appended to our natural abilities, but the biggest modifications are those that effect the mind - how we think. In this group we can filter down to a handful that have had a direct revolutionary effect on the very way we think and see the world.
One of the earliest (and possibly the greatest) technology that effects the mind is the written word, which allowed thoughts to be conveyed after the thinker was long gone. Socrates wasn't a fan of this 'new' technology because it removed the need to memorize, but few would doubt the benefits made it more than worth it.
Later the printed book arrived, which made these thoughts widely available. It introduced the concept of the introverted genius, where knowledge was primarily gained by long hours in books. This contrasted with Socrates time where the storyteller or bard - a performance - was the source for knowledge.
With each of these changes the way we think and view the world changed. It's important to take notes of how it has changed in the past because we are in the midst of a range of technologies that will have a major effect into the future.
No one had a personal computer when I was born in 1972. Virtually no one had a personal computer when I was 5 years old. A decade later it was a dedicated hobby that was very expensive, and very few people owned them. A decade after that it was well on the way to ubiquity. In regards to human history, this is but a blip, but the changes are drastic. We now live in a world where most people carry more processing power in their pocket, by way of a cell phone, than the entire world had just a few decades ago. As computing power moves to devices (from dedicated computers), we soon won't be able to recognize what's a computer and what isn't.
So, this is the revolution we are living in. I grew up in a world of books, but children born into this age will know nothing but computers. Knowledge was transferred as a straight line, from cover to cover, in the age of books. Now it will be hyperlinked and searchable - free to whim, skim and lacking focus. The way we think is being transformed to match, and that's not necessarily for the best.
Look at the letter - the primary form of communication over long distances throughout human history. It's something written on paper and sent through the mail service (physically) to a recipient. Personal communications via hand written letter have all but been replaced in just the last couple decades. A personal letter right now is like a horse and carriage for transportation - quaint and archaic and impractical. The email is what ultimately signed the death notice for the letter. Yet, email probably doesn't have much of a future, and will itself be supplanted by text messaging in the years to come. Email is already looked on by younger generations as quaint and a bit archaic, with the longer message length, full formating, lack of formal shorthand (lol, bff, wtf, etc) all being a waste of time.
More and more I fall in line with Socrates here, because I see far too many dangers in this new innovation. Yes, computers improve productivity in the workplace and can lead to more efficient processes (medical records, etc), but for personal use there is far too much noise before you find the benefits. Maybe people will learn to take the good and leave the bad as the technology matures, but that's a long way off, when it comes to our lifetimes. I don't want to spend my life being a beta tester, but in many respects I have no choice.
These are my thoughts, liberally borrowed, from the excellent and highly recommended book the The Shallows by Nicholas Carr
.Thursday, November 18, 2010
Nate's Birthdate + 8
Nate is 8 months old today. Here are some notes:
- He crawls. It's not mastered, but he can get where he wants effortlessly.
- No obstacle fazes him. We only have one step accessible to him in the whole house, but the first time he ran into it, he went over it without blinking.
- The little guy can stand. It's wobbily and he's fearless enough to make it scary to watch, but he does love it.
- He is starting to recognize that he can crawl to find a person in another room.
- Smile and laughs are common. It's easy to make him laugh, even at his fussiest state.
- So long early bed time. It used to be 8PM on the dot, but those days are long gone. It's trending later and later.
- The light on the front of the computer fascinates him. You can cover it, hide it, tape things over it, but it's still the first place he heads when his knees hit the floor.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Making Dinner
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/11/why-making-dinner-is-a-good-idea/
I found this article interesting. The arguments are essentially that:
1. We get more enjoyment from something we make ourselves.
2. We don't make as much of our food as we did in the past
3. Therefore we derive more pleasure from a smaller quantity of food which we have prepared, and feel it necessary to eat more if others have prepared the food to reach the same level of satiety.
Finally, the article points out that mass production of food makes high caloric preparation of otherwise healthy foods much more practical. For example, potatoes have always been consumed in large quantity, but were rarely french fried in the past. When preparing them yourself, it's the most time consuming method, but it's the most common form we find them in today.
You can add this to the list of reasons why it's better to eat at home.
The reasons I usually think of.....The structured quality time with the family is invaluable. The (forced) time away from life's distractions - computers & television. The control it gives you over nutrition - just knowing what goes into the food. The variety in food. Avoiding and teaching your children how to avoid the corporate food machine. Finally, I like it as a creative outlet, it is an art form in ways - experimenting with new methods or concoctions.
I found this article interesting. The arguments are essentially that:
1. We get more enjoyment from something we make ourselves.
2. We don't make as much of our food as we did in the past
3. Therefore we derive more pleasure from a smaller quantity of food which we have prepared, and feel it necessary to eat more if others have prepared the food to reach the same level of satiety.
Finally, the article points out that mass production of food makes high caloric preparation of otherwise healthy foods much more practical. For example, potatoes have always been consumed in large quantity, but were rarely french fried in the past. When preparing them yourself, it's the most time consuming method, but it's the most common form we find them in today.
You can add this to the list of reasons why it's better to eat at home.
The reasons I usually think of.....The structured quality time with the family is invaluable. The (forced) time away from life's distractions - computers & television. The control it gives you over nutrition - just knowing what goes into the food. The variety in food. Avoiding and teaching your children how to avoid the corporate food machine. Finally, I like it as a creative outlet, it is an art form in ways - experimenting with new methods or concoctions.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Jealousy rears its cute little head
Nate is 7 months old, and needs to be held regularly. Lily is a few days past 2 1/2 and gets very jealous when this happens. She also gets jealous when he's changed, tickled or given attention of any kind.
A two year old's expression of jealousy doesn't always come out clearly. We've learned that sometimes it can be directed at the younger sibling and other times it can come out as a disobedient call for attention - standing on chairs, etc. Often the jealousy comes out up front and honestly, like the other day when I was tickling Nate and she asked to be in the middle. The most recent incarnation is pouting - she'll walk out of the room with her face down.
We've tried a few different tactics dealing with this, and achieved middling to no success. Timeout's tend to make a bad situation worse and appear to do little to prevent future occurrences. Negative response, as in rewarding Nate when Lily acts up, only works until she does something that must have a response.
What works is the empathic response - acknowledging the reason for Lily's behavior, then warmly comforting her and offering a better solution for the next time jealousy comes up. This works very well. The only problem is that you don't always have both parents on hand, and it's not easy to pull off alone.
A two year old's expression of jealousy doesn't always come out clearly. We've learned that sometimes it can be directed at the younger sibling and other times it can come out as a disobedient call for attention - standing on chairs, etc. Often the jealousy comes out up front and honestly, like the other day when I was tickling Nate and she asked to be in the middle. The most recent incarnation is pouting - she'll walk out of the room with her face down.
We've tried a few different tactics dealing with this, and achieved middling to no success. Timeout's tend to make a bad situation worse and appear to do little to prevent future occurrences. Negative response, as in rewarding Nate when Lily acts up, only works until she does something that must have a response.
What works is the empathic response - acknowledging the reason for Lily's behavior, then warmly comforting her and offering a better solution for the next time jealousy comes up. This works very well. The only problem is that you don't always have both parents on hand, and it's not easy to pull off alone.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Language and the Rational Mind
Lily turned 2 and 1/2 this weekend, and we are seeing the Terrible Two's fade. It's most noticeable when something that would cause major drama in the past goes by without incident. We also notice it at restaurants and in public, where she's less likely to act up. Finally, bedtime has also become an easier transition.
Another development we have noticed is more refined speech. Yesterday she corrected her mom's grammar (a first):
Mom: "Nate is playing with toys"
Lily: "Nate is playing with one toy"
Actually, both were correct. Mom was making a comment in the general sense and Lily was making a direct observation. Lily missed subtlety of the wording, but managed to distinguish proper wording for single and multiple objects, which is very impressive. It's revealing to where she's at linguistically, and remarkable to see first hand.
That's just one example though. Overall, more of her speech is in sentences, rather than words or fragments. For example, she says "I love you Daddy" rather than "love you", now. It's developed language, not just memorized words.
My first instinct is to separate these two developments, language and rational thought, but nothing could be further from the truth. While the brain definitely has some reserved space - built in coding - for language, it's still all bound to a rational view of the world.
So, we can imagine a Unicorn (something that doesn't exist), but can't imagine that same Unicorn being to the left and right of us at the same time. To express this, we can draw or offer a vivid verbal description of a Unicorn, but there is no way to relay the irrational and have another rational mind be able to envision it concretely (abstract/Cubist-style, maybe). It's this basic understanding of how spatial relations work that grants us the ability to describe it to others and makes language viable.
In Lily's grammar lesson, it's what allowed her to distinguish one and many. These building blocks of the rational mind can identify one, two, many, as in one-bundle of sticks, three sticks, a pile of sticks, a pair of pants or a pair of socks. It also allows her to break down or combine these groups, like when we separate a cup from the table it sits on, and a cup from the shards of glass it becomes if it falls to the floor. This knowledge of numbers will eventually lead her to understand why waiting for two cookies later is better than getting one cookie now.
While it's an evolutionary development process, not a on/off switch, for either piece (language & rational thinking), I think the evidence clearly points to language mostly arriving before rational thought processes. Children can understand what adults are saying before they can say it. It's possible that the language 'programming' is up and running, but needs that rational basis - centered around the development of the pre-frontal cortex (around the age of 2 to 3) - to really make everything click.
Another development we have noticed is more refined speech. Yesterday she corrected her mom's grammar (a first):
Mom: "Nate is playing with toys"
Lily: "Nate is playing with one toy"
Actually, both were correct. Mom was making a comment in the general sense and Lily was making a direct observation. Lily missed subtlety of the wording, but managed to distinguish proper wording for single and multiple objects, which is very impressive. It's revealing to where she's at linguistically, and remarkable to see first hand.
That's just one example though. Overall, more of her speech is in sentences, rather than words or fragments. For example, she says "I love you Daddy" rather than "love you", now. It's developed language, not just memorized words.
My first instinct is to separate these two developments, language and rational thought, but nothing could be further from the truth. While the brain definitely has some reserved space - built in coding - for language, it's still all bound to a rational view of the world.
So, we can imagine a Unicorn (something that doesn't exist), but can't imagine that same Unicorn being to the left and right of us at the same time. To express this, we can draw or offer a vivid verbal description of a Unicorn, but there is no way to relay the irrational and have another rational mind be able to envision it concretely (abstract/Cubist-style, maybe). It's this basic understanding of how spatial relations work that grants us the ability to describe it to others and makes language viable.
In Lily's grammar lesson, it's what allowed her to distinguish one and many. These building blocks of the rational mind can identify one, two, many, as in one-bundle of sticks, three sticks, a pile of sticks, a pair of pants or a pair of socks. It also allows her to break down or combine these groups, like when we separate a cup from the table it sits on, and a cup from the shards of glass it becomes if it falls to the floor. This knowledge of numbers will eventually lead her to understand why waiting for two cookies later is better than getting one cookie now.
While it's an evolutionary development process, not a on/off switch, for either piece (language & rational thinking), I think the evidence clearly points to language mostly arriving before rational thought processes. Children can understand what adults are saying before they can say it. It's possible that the language 'programming' is up and running, but needs that rational basis - centered around the development of the pre-frontal cortex (around the age of 2 to 3) - to really make everything click.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Snapshots at the Waterpark
Just some briefs from our weekend trip...
Kid's love pizza. We had pizza the night we arrived and leftovers for lunch the next day. I asked Cindy what she wanted to do for dinner and Lily responded, 'pizza'.
Lily likes the 'little slide'. The 'big one' was too much, during the one trip down. She wouldn't go near it again. Even the 'lazy river' was fraught with too many waterfalls and places to get wet. We spent a lot of time on the 'little slide'. I'm glad she's not a daredevil, even if that would have made for a more interactive experience for dad.
Costumed characters are freakish. She had taken the same path up to the 'little' water slide about 100 times, leaving me to wait for her at the bottom. Then the Lifeguard pointed to signal something was happening. A costumed character was coming up the other way, so my terrified daughter made a u-turn and was in full flight retreat. She squealed then and every time after, when she saw the large Woody Woodpecker type character coming her way.
New teeth can ruin the fun. Nate had his moments, but pain from teething caused some distraction. He spent a lot of time napping. It's fine though, because he won't be lacking for action in the years to come.
Kid's love pizza. We had pizza the night we arrived and leftovers for lunch the next day. I asked Cindy what she wanted to do for dinner and Lily responded, 'pizza'.
Peace at the restaurant. We went out for a multiple course meal with a 7 month old & a 2 1/2 year old, and had little to no problems. That's pretty impressive. There was a time when even short meals felt like walking through a minefield.
There's no place like home. We hadn't even slept a night or been there more than a couple hours, and Lily had associated the hotel room with home. She independently recognized the area by the refrigerator as the 'kitchen'. This prompted us to ask some questions, and have her identify where the 'bedroom' and 'living room' were, to which she pointed to the logical places - bed & chairs, respectively.
I'm kind of evil. We we walking through the children's area, which is typically safe, except for the random bucket of water that pours down. Of course one fell right on Lily's head. It was harmless, but she was shocked and let it be known. I picked her up to comfort and also to better hide my laughter.
Lily likes the 'little slide'. The 'big one' was too much, during the one trip down. She wouldn't go near it again. Even the 'lazy river' was fraught with too many waterfalls and places to get wet. We spent a lot of time on the 'little slide'. I'm glad she's not a daredevil, even if that would have made for a more interactive experience for dad.
Costumed characters are freakish. She had taken the same path up to the 'little' water slide about 100 times, leaving me to wait for her at the bottom. Then the Lifeguard pointed to signal something was happening. A costumed character was coming up the other way, so my terrified daughter made a u-turn and was in full flight retreat. She squealed then and every time after, when she saw the large Woody Woodpecker type character coming her way.
New teeth can ruin the fun. Nate had his moments, but pain from teething caused some distraction. He spent a lot of time napping. It's fine though, because he won't be lacking for action in the years to come.
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