Saturday, May 29, 2010

Aught Not

Modern medical science says that between 80 and 90% of the cases of Autism can be directly attributed to genes.  This is actually a horrible factoid to know, if you A) believe you may carry some of the genes and B) have a newborn. 

This is why Nate's smile makes me so happy.   Every time he looks towards a voice or stares at my face, I feel better.  Every time he reacts to a funny face with a smile, I feel comforted.   

My fears are irrational, and I know that.  Even if there was a problem, my worries wouldn't help.   Still, it's nice to get past them, even if we aren't totally out of the woods.

I recently took pictures of him smiling and soon they'll sit in the precious space above my monitor at work - where I put the most motivating images.   Right now, it's a year old picture of Lily's face after a ride down the slide & the box score of last week's hockey game, where I scored 5 out of our team's 8 goals (to which a co-worker commented that he'd pat me on the back but I did it for myself).   Memory of the game is already fading, so that's where the pictures will go, and stay, for a very long time.

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